Help
Hello all.
My fourteen year old son is spending a lot of time in front of the PC playing games like World of Warcraft and Call of Duty. Both which I concider to be quite violent. His gaming is increasing rather than decreasing despite his mothers and my continous attempts to set limitations. Most of his friends are playing as well and most of the time they are playing together over the internet. This may all be well if not for the fact his behaviour is suffering from it. He is normally quite hot tempered but at periods with intense gaming his behaviour is much worse. He gets angry over nothing and does not seem happy at all.
He simply appears to be obsessed with gaming and find it hard to focus on anything else. Because of that his results in school are degrading and his teachers find him unfocused and unable (or unwilling) to take instructions. His friends are also gamers and probably plays as much as my kid (or even more) but it does not seem to affect them in the same way as it does him. This is the reason why I am beginning to suspect that his obsessive behaviour and the way it affects him is related to his hemiplegia. It would be interesting to hear if someone else have noticed anything like this. Because of his change of personality and of his degrading school results I have really started to worry about this.
anders
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Obsessive Computer Gaming
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#2
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Posted 13 January 2012 - 11:38 AM
Hi,
This sounds a silly question, but is he any good at the games you have mentioned?
I'm 32 with right sided hemiplegia and found when I was younger (between 14 and 18), I used to love playing computer games againsty my mates, but used to get hugely wound up and angry as I used to lose quite often, primarily as I couldnt manage all of the controls with my Hemi hand.
There was one occassion where, in quick succession, I threw the controller out the window and then put a hole in my bedroom wall with my non hemi hand after losing a close match of Street FIghter 2 on the Super Nintendo (That should give you an idea of how long ago this was!).
It could be that he struggles with the games (slightly) and this can lead to the anger and bad moods, as it gets hugely frustrating that the playing field doesnt feel even whenever you are playing.
In terms of the obsession, I can get that too, as gaming is something that you can engage with which helps you feel better about yourself when you are competing and it goes well. Winning is addictive, afterall.
Anyways, hope that helps, just my personal experiences on the sunject.
This sounds a silly question, but is he any good at the games you have mentioned?
I'm 32 with right sided hemiplegia and found when I was younger (between 14 and 18), I used to love playing computer games againsty my mates, but used to get hugely wound up and angry as I used to lose quite often, primarily as I couldnt manage all of the controls with my Hemi hand.
There was one occassion where, in quick succession, I threw the controller out the window and then put a hole in my bedroom wall with my non hemi hand after losing a close match of Street FIghter 2 on the Super Nintendo (That should give you an idea of how long ago this was!).
It could be that he struggles with the games (slightly) and this can lead to the anger and bad moods, as it gets hugely frustrating that the playing field doesnt feel even whenever you are playing.
In terms of the obsession, I can get that too, as gaming is something that you can engage with which helps you feel better about yourself when you are competing and it goes well. Winning is addictive, afterall.
Anyways, hope that helps, just my personal experiences on the sunject.
#3
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Posted 16 January 2012 - 06:25 PM
Hi Anders,
I'm sorry to hear your son is having a difficult time at the moment.
I think Nick is onto something regarding the frustration. I played computer games when I was younger and was only mildly frustrated because I was quite good at the games I played. At around the same time, I learned to apply make up and tie my hair and that was frustrating, and I became upset on a number of occasions.
I feel that computer games have a bad reputation. As I sit here now my best friend is playing Skyrim. It is a violent game. He is not a violent man. In fact, he's as timid as a mouse. I don't believe that obsessive gaming is a trait of hemiplegia. People can become obsessed with and addicted to all manner of things whether or not they have a disability.
I expect this won't be much consolation to you but it's something to think about.
I do hope you get the answers you need.
Jennifer :-)
I'm sorry to hear your son is having a difficult time at the moment.
I think Nick is onto something regarding the frustration. I played computer games when I was younger and was only mildly frustrated because I was quite good at the games I played. At around the same time, I learned to apply make up and tie my hair and that was frustrating, and I became upset on a number of occasions.
I feel that computer games have a bad reputation. As I sit here now my best friend is playing Skyrim. It is a violent game. He is not a violent man. In fact, he's as timid as a mouse. I don't believe that obsessive gaming is a trait of hemiplegia. People can become obsessed with and addicted to all manner of things whether or not they have a disability.
I expect this won't be much consolation to you but it's something to think about.
I do hope you get the answers you need.
Jennifer :-)
A woman without her man, is nothing.
A woman: without her, man is nothing.
A woman: without her, man is nothing.
#4
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Posted 17 January 2012 - 06:54 PM
Nick W, on 13 January 2012 - 11:38 AM, said:
Hi,
This sounds a silly question, but is he any good at the games you have mentioned?
I'm 32 with right sided hemiplegia and found when I was younger (between 14 and 18), I used to love playing computer games againsty my mates, but used to get hugely wound up and angry as I used to lose quite often, primarily as I couldnt manage all of the controls with my Hemi hand.
There was one occassion where, in quick succession, I threw the controller out the window and then put a hole in my bedroom wall with my non hemi hand after losing a close match of Street FIghter 2 on the Super Nintendo (That should give you an idea of how long ago this was!).
It could be that he struggles with the games (slightly) and this can lead to the anger and bad moods, as it gets hugely frustrating that the playing field doesnt feel even whenever you are playing.
In terms of the obsession, I can get that too, as gaming is something that you can engage with which helps you feel better about yourself when you are competing and it goes well. Winning is addictive, afterall.
Anyways, hope that helps, just my personal experiences on the sunject.
This sounds a silly question, but is he any good at the games you have mentioned?
I'm 32 with right sided hemiplegia and found when I was younger (between 14 and 18), I used to love playing computer games againsty my mates, but used to get hugely wound up and angry as I used to lose quite often, primarily as I couldnt manage all of the controls with my Hemi hand.
There was one occassion where, in quick succession, I threw the controller out the window and then put a hole in my bedroom wall with my non hemi hand after losing a close match of Street FIghter 2 on the Super Nintendo (That should give you an idea of how long ago this was!).
It could be that he struggles with the games (slightly) and this can lead to the anger and bad moods, as it gets hugely frustrating that the playing field doesnt feel even whenever you are playing.
In terms of the obsession, I can get that too, as gaming is something that you can engage with which helps you feel better about yourself when you are competing and it goes well. Winning is addictive, afterall.
Anyways, hope that helps, just my personal experiences on the sunject.
Hello Nick,
Thanks for your answer. My son is actually quite good at the games he is playing, his friens are frequently asking him for help. I think you may be on the right track when you mention that winning is addictive. It certainly is! It does not explain the change of beviour though. You would expect that winning would make you feel better and happier as you indicate in your reply.
Thanks again for charing your experiences, it is much appreciated.
anders
#5
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Posted 17 January 2012 - 07:08 PM
jenno282, on 16 January 2012 - 06:25 PM, said:
Hi Anders,
I'm sorry to hear your son is having a difficult time at the moment.
I think Nick is onto something regarding the frustration. I played computer games when I was younger and was only mildly frustrated because I was quite good at the games I played. At around the same time, I learned to apply make up and tie my hair and that was frustrating, and I became upset on a number of occasions.
I feel that computer games have a bad reputation. As I sit here now my best friend is playing Skyrim. It is a violent game. He is not a violent man. In fact, he's as timid as a mouse. I don't believe that obsessive gaming is a trait of hemiplegia. People can become obsessed with and addicted to all manner of things whether or not they have a disability.
I expect this won't be much consolation to you but it's something to think about.
I do hope you get the answers you need.
Jennifer :-)
I'm sorry to hear your son is having a difficult time at the moment.
I think Nick is onto something regarding the frustration. I played computer games when I was younger and was only mildly frustrated because I was quite good at the games I played. At around the same time, I learned to apply make up and tie my hair and that was frustrating, and I became upset on a number of occasions.
I feel that computer games have a bad reputation. As I sit here now my best friend is playing Skyrim. It is a violent game. He is not a violent man. In fact, he's as timid as a mouse. I don't believe that obsessive gaming is a trait of hemiplegia. People can become obsessed with and addicted to all manner of things whether or not they have a disability.
I expect this won't be much consolation to you but it's something to think about.
I do hope you get the answers you need.
Jennifer :-)
Hello Jennifer,
Thanks for your reply. I am sure that many (or even most) people can play violent games withour becoming effected by it, but I am still convinced that for a few there is a substatial risk of psycological effects in some form or another. Whether or not my sons disability plays a role is this is is the question. You may be right that the bad mood is not related to hemiplegia at all but I think it is interesting to hear other peoples views and experiences in this matter.
Thanks again Jennifer, I appreciate your answer.
anders
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